When the Holidays Hurt: Why Some Feel Alone, and What We Can Do

The festive season is often pictured as a time of joy, family and festivity. But for many people, the holidays can also bring loneliness, sadness or a painful sense of isolation, especially when family, friends or support networks are far away, broken, or strained. It’s during these times that some may feel their burdens are too heavy to carry, and thoughts of suicide may creep in. If that’s you or someone you know, know this: you are not alone, and help is available.

Reaching out can save lives

It’s easy to believe you have no one to call, or that no one will understand. But many South Africans have found strength and support simply by talking, even if it feels scary. Just voicing how you feel can bring relief, clarity, and a reminder that there are people ready to help.

If you or a friend or loved one are in pain, distress or thinking about ending your life, please reach out immediately. The following helplines offer 24/7 or round-the-clock support across South Africa:

·       South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG) Suicide Crisis Helpline: 0800 567 567

·       LifeLine South Africa / National Counselling Line: 0861 322 322

·       Cipla 24-Hour Mental Health Helpline: 0800 456 789

·       Substance Abuse & Mental Health Helpline (Department of Social Development): 0800 12 13 14 (also for those feeling overwhelmed or using substances as coping)

These lines are free, confidential and staffed by trained counsellors who know how to help when someone feels suicidal or deeply distressed.

Talk, listen, support. Community matters

Often, those who die by suicide communicate their pain ahead of time. By staying alert to warning signs, changes in behaviour, withdrawal, expressions of hopelessness, giving away belongings, we can reach out and intervene. Simple acts like calling, visiting, or just listening with empathy can stop a tragedy.

If you notice a friend withdrawing, saying hurtful things about themselves, or acting differently, don’t ignore it. Ask gently, “Are you okay?”, “Do you want to talk?”, and let them know you care.

Break the silence, break the stigma

In South Africa, mental health remains stigmatised, many feel ashamed to admit they struggle, especially during “holiday season” when everyone else seems happy. But mental illness doesn’t care about the calendar. Depression, anxiety, stress or trauma can hit anyone, at any time. Talking openly about distress, sadness or suicidal thoughts helps break the silence. It reminds others, and yourself, that healing starts when we reach out.

If you are reading this and feeling despair, pause for a moment. Breathe. Reach out. Call one of the helplines above. Tell someone, a friend, family member, or support line, how you feel, even if you don’t know exactly why you feel it.

Because you matter. You deserve help, care and another chance. Suicide is never the answer.